Labels

**Edited Dec 27, 2014: I've decided to just be myself and not hide behind a fictional character. I'm taking my name back. She'll come back under another name, I'm sure, because her story is rather interesting.**

Now that I'm a stay-at-home housewife I find myself asking if I'm still a submissive or if I've crossed over into the realm of a slave. Is Mr Myrrh my Master and Owner, or just my Master? He hasn't recognized me as a slave. That's not one of his words for me. But I think that, unofficially, I'm not simply a submissive anymore.

"Slave" is such a weird word. I don't really like it. The liberal in me thinks about how modern slavery is worse -- traps more unwilling people -- than it was two hundred years ago. I think about the history of the United States, how it wouldn't be such a powerful country if it weren't for the unpaid labor of thousands of black slaves. There's so much unsexy stuff attached to that word that using it to denote my voluntary relinquishment of power seems to imply that I don't care for or have empathy for people who are involuntarily slaves.

And then there are the personal issues I've had with being domestic in any way.

My mother worked full-time. Her mother worked full-time. My parents always impressed upon me the importance of working, of being financially independent from my husband. It is an illicit thrill, of sorts, to go against that, to find pleasure in washing the dishes instead of working in an office, to finally let go of that middle class mentality that associates physical labor with ignorance, stupidity, and being "less than." I have newfound empathy for cleaning women, now that I am one, myself. I still hate cleaning, but I'm proud of the result once I'm done. I'm learning that there is no shame in caring for something or someone.

The fun thing is that I'm learning these things through submitting to someone I love. Not just because I find it sexier, but because following his direction increases the value of what I do -- it's meaningful not just to me but to another person. My small, personal triumphs are larger because they are shared. That's far more liberating than the word "slave" connotes.

Perhaps it's useless for me to worry about labels. After all, as a submissive domestic, I'd probably be happy with however Master chose to refer to me. Mr Myrrh calls me "beloved" and that is my favorite label of all.

Warmly,
Ms Myrrh