If you accept the American Dream of a little bit of luck and a lot of pluck leading you to success, you're probably going to have a hard time wrapping your brain around D/s.
Americans are taught from an early age that we all need to be strong, independent, and equal. Any sign of inequality is automatically met with resistance, revulsion, judgement. Perhaps not too surprisingly, it's the person in the (perceived) position of less power who receives the most negative attention. "Why are you the janitor? You're so smart; don't you want to do something with your life?" "Are you really content to be the hotel maid?" "Isn't a nanny just a glorified baby sitter? When are you going to get a real job?"
It's an unthinking, knee-jerk reaction. While there are many kinds of inequality that do deserve to be addressed (political, economic, race-based, gender- and age-based), we are taught neither to fear nor attempt to redress these inequalities as they exist in our society because we accept the narrative that they can be overcome if we're just smart enough and work hard enough. They are external and, supposedly, surmountable obstacles in our fairy tale story of personal triumph (the fact that the American Dream follows the story arc of a fairy tale actually makes external obstacles a requirement, thus actively protecting the status quo).
But power exchanges and inequalities on a personal level do not fit into that narrative. It's difficult for some people to understand that others may choose a power exchange that ostensibly leaves them helpless. When sex is introduced to that dynamic, people can get even more judgmental. Sex is difficult to talk about to begin with, and we are not taught to think about our sexuality except as a) something dirty and certainly not worth discussion, b) something likely to cause disease, or c) something to avoid unless you want to have babies. There has been very little positive public narrative about sex until recently, and even then it's only been a small part of the relatively loud noise of the internet.
Lastly, going beyond blind acceptance of the social narrative we've been taught, it's human nature for one's initial reaction to anything new to be "no." It takes time for our brains to think about something new and "no" often buys us that time. Sometimes we end up at "yes." Sometimes a person may be so repressed that they need to drown out that little, interior "yes" with a really big "NO" that they will shout at anyone who dares say "yes" aloud.
I dare you to subvert your instinct for "no" and your ingrained insistence on equality and say yes to investigating the pleasures of (at least temporary) explicit dominance of or submission to another's will.
Warmly,
The Author
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