Friday’s first few e-mails were spam and scary people:
“Let me fuck your wife like the whore she is and I’ll let you lick up whatever’s left.”
“Men with small penis need no longer fear! Perfect, natural item addresses problem!”
“You sickos sicken me! No wonder this country’s going to hell, with people like you willing to violate the sanctity of your marriage vows!”
“Hi, I’m looking for a long-term slave position. I’m a cute brunette female, slim and hairless, already well-trained as a puppy, D&D-free. I’m asking $30k for a 3-month contract (I need to pay off those student loans). Msg me if you’re interested and I’ll provide references.”
They all made us think perhaps we’d made a mistake by putting an ad in the online paper. Maybe fantasizing about a threesome was better than the real thing. After all, no person is an object, anyone who contacted us would come with their own baggage, even if the issues weren’t as obvious as the themes in these crazy and invasive e-mails.
But we had submitted the ad and maybe, by the time Sunday rolled around, maybe we’d get one good reply. Would it be worth sifting through all the junk?
Friday evening, though, saw a change in the tone and content of the replies. Maybe the normal horny people had just got home from work and were looking to fill up their weekend with adventure.
“Hi. My name is Brad. I like the sound of your ad. I smile a lot but I don’t wear glasses. I fill the rest of the requirements. I’m a fit 25 year old male, brown hair and eyes, looking for a night of bisexual adventure. I leave my baggage at home.”
“Hi. Your ad was sweet and sexy. I fit your ad. My name is Joan and I like to have fun. I’m a 45 year old single female, plus-size, and I wear glasses. I prefer men but have been interested in trying out lesbianism in a safe environment. Please reply if you’re interested. I’m available any night this weekend or next.”
“Hi. My name is Eric and I’m replying to your ad for a fun, intimate get-together. I’m more interested in the ladies but I like the idea of a tag-team sort of adventure if you’re up for it. I’m a 36-year old male, with the average 36-year old male physique but, you know, in a cute way, since I smile a lot.”
“I’m David and your ad turned me on. I’m 42, wear glasses, smile all the time, and like playing with couples. If something like this is new to you I’d be happy to help introduce to a threesome. They’re lots of fun.”
There were a dozen more like these. So many to choose from! We had sort of decided how to weed through them. If they managed to make a joke, they made it to the next round. If they were about our age, in their thirties or forties, they made it to the next round. No sense making ourselves self-conscious by hooking up with a 22-year old yoga instructor. From there, we weren’t quite sure. From there, we guessed, we’d reply with a few more questions.
First, there were the rejects to tend to:
“Thanks so much for replying to our ad. We regret that we won’t be playing with you this weekend but we wish you the best of luck.”
And the others, the possibles, they needed tailored replies.
“Hi Joan, thanks for contacting us. My wife doesn’t have much experience with women, either, and part of our fantasy includes her going down on another woman. If you’re not comfortable with a total newbie servicing you, it’s probably best if we decline your offer. Please reply and let us know if you’re still interested.”
“Hi Eric, thanks for contacting us. My husband was hoping for a bisexual adventure, so, while we are interested in spending some time with you, we wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable in our efforts to fulfill his fantasies. Please reply and let us know if you’re still interested.”
“Hi David, thanks for contacting us. We are both interested in men and are glad to hear you have experience with this type of threesome. If you’re serious about having a fun, relaxing time, e-mail us with a time and place to meet with you in public tomorrow (Saturday).”
Three possible candidates. We waited excitedly to hear back. When our phones buzzed with an incoming e-mail we weren’t surprised to find that David had replied first.
“Hi you two. How about the park at downtown Beaverton at 2, that’ll give me time to grab a coffee. I’ll be the single, middle-aged guy with glasses, brown hair and a white ceramic mug of coffee, wearing black jeans and a black button-down shirt.”
“Hi David. We’ll see you there and then! Naomi will be wearing a short black skirt, chunky gold heels, a black top, and small, gold hoop earrings. I’ll be wearing black trousers, Docks, and a black sweater. Naomi has shoulder-length dark brown hair with some gray, and mine is buzzed. We both have blue eyes.”
Well, there it was. We’d sent the e-mail. We were really going to meet up with a guy we might end up seeing naked and erect, someone we might end up having sex with, both of us. It made my pussy moist, my clit tingle, and raised my heart rate. Your hands were all over me after clicking Send, finally settling on the back of my neck
“Still want to do this?” you asked, your eyebrows raised. I nodded silently. I was a little afraid, yes, but I still wanted to try it. I wanted you to live your fantasy of exploring sex with other men and I wanted to live mine of submitting to two men at once.
You pushed down on my shoulders and I obediently knelt before you. I nuzzled against your crotch, hidden behind layers of fabric, and whimpered.
“My eager little fucktoy,” you whispered. I nodded enthusiastically into your shorts. “Tell me how much you want my cock.”
“Oh, I want it all the time,” I moaned against the fabric, “either in my hands or my mouth or rubbed all over my face. I want it slapping my nipples or sliding between my breasts. I want it rubbing against my clit. I want it in my pussy and up my ass. I want your cock so bad. I want your cock and your hands and fingers and balls and ass and those strong hips that push against me over and over again. I want your lips and tongue and mouth and,” I breathed, “and everything.”
You pet my hair, then pressed against the back of my head with your hands, forcing my face deeper into your crotch. I whimpered against the hard profile of your cock, simultaneously satisfied with being exactly where I was and yet looking forward to whatever you might dream up next.
“Stay right there,” you ordered after another moment of grinding. You stepped away and disappeared. I waited, only slightly less satisfied with being exactly where I was. Then I heard you call from our spare bedroom. We had turned it into an exercise room, with one fully-mirrored wall, a ballet bar, and smooth, wood floors. We joked that it was our secret dungeon but usually we actually used it for exercise, whether yoga or pedaling on the stationary bike or dancing.
When I walked in I immediately saw the yoga mat touching the mirrored wall, rolled out perpendicular to it. I was a little confused until I saw the dildo stuck to the mirror.
You met me at the door with my favorite collar and leash.
“Kneel,” you commanded. I did, without hesitation. You gently attached the collar and then stepped back, leash in hand, to get a good look at me.
“You look so fucking sexy like that,” you said. I grinned up at you and licked my lips.
“Come on, my little fucktoy,” you said, tugging on my leash. I followed your lead toward the mat and dildo, watched myself walk on all fours, fully clothed. Once I was on the mat I looked up into your eyes, awaiting direction.
“Go on, lick that dildo. Suck it like it’s my cock. I’ll know if you’re not putting your heart into it.”
I scootched a tiny bit closer in order to wrap my lips around the huge, fake cock. I couldn’t get it down my throat, but I tried my best. Even though it didn’t smell like you I could, with my eyes closed, pretend I was going down on you. I started to moan into the dildo and my ass wriggled as I lost myself in the blowjob.
“That’s right, my sweet, needy, wife, keep sucking,” you whispered hoarsely. I heard you unzip your shorts, heard them fall to the floor, then I felt your hands on my ass, massaging it.
When you started spanking my butt I jumped and yipped but didn’t let go of the dildo.
“Good girl,” you said, “You just keep sucking. I love watching your face when you get into giving head. Your such a good little cock sucker.” You took a ragged breath and then spanked me again, first on one ass cheek, then the other. The sting was muted by my clothes, so you spanked me more than you usually did. It was such a turn on, licking and sucking a dildo while you spanked me, each moment you continued with the spanking my pussy got wetter and needier.
Just when I was about to beg you for your cock you reached under me and undid the button and zipper to my own shorts and pulled them and my underwear down to puddle around my knees. I felt helpless and exposed, even more so when you spread my thighs and ass apart to expose my pussy to your eyes.
“You’re so wet, my dear,” you observed as you slid a finger into me. I moaned and pushed against your finger but you pulled it away, teasing me. I whimpered into the dildo, begging wordlessly, my ass swinging from side to side and up and down, searching for something.
“Look at you,” you said, “sucking that fake cock like your life depends on it, so wet and so exposed, your shorts like a hobble around your knees, your ass swinging around like a cock radar. I don’t even need to tie you in place; you’re right where you want to be.”
“Mm-hmm,” I agreed, almost frantic.
“Do you want me to fuck you?” you asked.
“Mm-hmm!” I replied from around the dildo.
“Open your eyes and look at me,” you said.
I opened my eyes and met yours through the mirror. You were kneeling behind me. Our eyes were locked on each other as you slowly slid your cock into my pussy then out again. I was so insane with need I came on the second stroke. You let me recover, then started fucking me again.
“I love seeing you suck that dildo while I fuck you,” you said in a low voice.
“Mmmmm,” I agreed, dribbling saliva down my chin.
Then there was no time to talk, just focus on the moment, moment to moment. The simultaneously hard and soft feel of your cock in my pussy and the fake one in my mouth, trying to remember to breathe, moaning uncontrollably at the sensation of the double fucking, the occasional slap of your hand on my ass. It seemed like a long and really good time until you came. I pushed back into you, burying you further into me, as you groaned loudly and your cock jerked and spurted and filled me with your cum.
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