Kink in Real Life: Does Your Doctor Know?

The biggest tool (aside from our favorite monster dildo) in the toy box is always communication. Whether that's having a phone and a contact when meeting a potential new play partner in a public space, having a safe word or sign, filling out the checklist I mention here, or letting one's doctor know that, yes, that massive bruise on the thigh was happily intentional and desired.

Since the DVM finally agrees that BDSM is not a kink or lifestyle caused by mental illness, it's become easier to communicate with health care providers about any special needs or concerns you might have as a kinkster. There's even a directory of kink-friendly medical professionals.

Read this article. It might help you take the next step in self-care. Consider discussing your lifestyle choices with your primary care physician during a routine checkup (rather than trying to explain things during an emergency). If they express surprise or evince concern or simple naiveté, take the opportunity to educate in a positive way. Just as you deserve to have your lifestyle choices heard and accepted without judgement, they don't need your judgement just because they're currently unaware of the wide range of kinks in the world. It might help to write out something or come prepared with a list of websites, books, or other media that they can peruse on their own time. It'll really help if you've already educated yourself about safely exploring or acting on your kinks, as that's most likely to be a doctor's biggest concern.

Communication can be a scary thing; there's always the possibility that the other person may not be ready for or appreciate honesty, or even ready to be honest, themselves. Sometimes it really is best to lie or omit information. But, in a medical situation, the more information a professional has, the better their diagnosis and assistance should be. Unless they're judgmental assholes. In which case, fuck them (not literally) and find a new physician. Seriously. Because you deserve the best care without any drama over your personal life choices. Better to find that out during a yearly physical  -- and have time to find a better fit for your medical need -- than in the middle of an emergency.

Warmly,
The Author