Non-Fiction: Dimorphous Expression & BDSM

I like to say that the best tool in the bondage-discipline-dominant/submissive-sadism-masochism (BDSM) toolkit is communication but it may be that, even more useful, is self-awareness. It's hard to communicate what we're feeling or thinking, what we want or don't want, when we don't know what it is in the first place. The more we understand about our bodies, emotions and needs, the easier it is to communicate, and the more fun we'll have.

Sometimes the path to discovery is experimentation, by onesself and with others. Sometimes it's reading and research. Sometimes it's meditation. Self-awareness is mostly, I think, being aware of our reactions to world around us, aware of why we react the way we do, and willing to objectively judge and change those reactions.

One very human and common reaction, to cute things, to scary things, to anything that elicits a strong emotional response, is called dimorphous expression. It's having the opposite physical reaction to a strong emotional response and it's considered an appropriate physical mechanism to help us keep our emotional equilibrium. It's why people want to bite cute babies. It's why people cry tears of joy. It might also be one of the most basic reasons (though probably not the biggest reason) BDSM exists.

BDSM is a catch-all collection of letters signifying the parsing and codification of the physical and mental extremes of experimenting and playing with our own bodies and each other's. For some people, it's very serious and very central to their lives. For others, it's something that happens in the bedroom every once in a while to spice things up. But for either end of the spectrum, and for all of us in-between, the mixture of pleasure and pain often does elicit dimorphous expressions: laughter during a flogging, tears or laughter during orgasm, biting in the throes of passion, spanking coupled with arousal.

While it's quite possible that a lot of people find themselves in BDSM-style relationships because they have strong emotions, those that engage in activities that fall under the BDSM umbrella also have more opportunities to use scenes and relationships to balance themselves, emotionally. In some ways, forcing simultaneous extreme opposite reactions is akin to a hard-reset button. Whether we have emotional issues or are emotionally stable, we can benefit from pushing that button from time to time in a safe, sane, and consensual manner. And I'm hard-pressed to think of a more fun way to do so.

So don't wait for the next wedding to shed tears of joy, and don't nibble on random strangers' cute babies; next time you need to reset your emotional equilibrium, try BDSM.

Warmly,
Ms Myrrh