Fiction, Ray's Honey Pots, Part Five

"Fuck," she says. I say nothing. With a start, I realize it's because I can't; she told me not to talk. My mind is buzzing with a dozen questions. Ray thought Rowan's husband was stealing honey pots for himself but it looks like he was part of some underground railroad-style liberation effort. Only the girls aren't being liberated. So what are they doing at the dairy if they're not actually helping the girls? And why would Rowan take me there, only to change her mind?

"I might have let my emotions get in the way," she says, as if reading my mind, "I should have left you there. But I'm worried about my kids. I'm worried about my family. Reynolds said they couldn't spare the manpower to protect us, even if he did believe that you were sent to kill us. I'm right, ain't I, that you were sent to kill us?"

She glances at me. I'm staring at her.

"Go on, answer the question," she says, "You're free to talk now."

"Yes," I reply.

"Why didn't you just shoot me when you walked in the house?" she asks.

"The fridge magnets," I reply, "I won't subject children to violence. I thought I'd wait 'til we were in the car. I'd pull the gun on you, make you drive us into a cornfield, where I'd shoot you and leave you there."

"You're a monster," she says, her voice breaking.

"You didn't seem too conflicted about getting me hooked up to The Loop," I say, letting reproach seep into my voice.

"I'm not a monster," she replies, "I'm a mother."

"Same goddamned fucking thing."

"Listen," she says, her voice hard, "You're our new body guard. We're going to give you lots of opportunities to hurt people. I saw that grin on your face when you hurt Reynolds."

I realize that she's never once asked me if I understood or if I agreed. No "okay?" or anything. I had cried when the truth of my situation had hit me as I handed over my piece, but the realization that she never once asked for my agreement takes me by surprise; I feel overwhelmed again. She's talking to me the way I talk to my favorite honey pot, from the moment I find her at Ray's topless bar to the moment I leave her behind in the bed, her braided hair undone and fanned over the sheets. I blink rapidly to keep from crying again.

"Listen," she says again, "You belong to me now. Ray is not someone you have any allegiance to. You belong to me. That means no calling him, no nothing that would let him know I'm still alive. It means your job is to protect us from him and anyone he sends our way."

Of course Ray's going to send someone, I think, feeling hopeless, in fact, he'll probably send multiple someones. Someones with fingerprints linked to innocent people, someones with no pasts, with a vested interest in protecting Ray's honey pots.

"One more thing," Rowan says, "My daughters come first. If gunmen or whatever show up, you protect them over anyone else." She glances at me then says, "You're a smart person, I'm not going to have to tell you to be careful about what you say and how you act around my girls."

"I need my gun if I'm going to protect you and your family," I say, "Turn the car around."

Rowan shakes her head, "We've got guns locked away at home. I'll unlock them for you once Ben gets home and I explain the situation."

"Ben's not coming home," I say, my nose flaring at the contradicting emotions that knowledge brings up in me, "Ray had someone waiting for him when he showed up for work this morning. We were going to set it up so it looked like he killed himself once he learned of your death."

"Does that means he's still alive? I mean, it makes more sense for them to keep him alive until they hear I'm dead."

"He's alive," I say slowly, "He was my second job."

I watch her while she drives in silence, tears glittering on Rowan's face like the wet corn leaves shining in the sun.

"I want you to get him," she finally says. She sounds tired. I have as much disdain for her as I did before, only now I'm the family bodyguard. I feel that dissonance in my bones.

"We can buy ourselves a little time if I can call Ray and tell him I did the job. Enough time for you and the girls to pack and get out to Reynolds. Enough time for me to return the rental car and get to Ben." I fall silent, considering my options.

"And then?"

"I don't know," I say, "The plan was Jacob would come with me and Ben, down to the canal behind the topless bar. It's a short walk and you can see the canal from Rays' office. He watches to make sure the job's done. I'd have to shoot Jacob, in the leg, at the very least, disarm him, convince Ben to follow me. If they've got his ankles shackled, like they sometimes do, then I've got to make sure I've got a key to unlock them, plus enough time. Ray trusts me enough I don't think he'd have a rifle up there, but he'd definitely be watching." I stop talking. An idea, an image rises up.

Rowan glances at me. "What are you thinking?" she asks.

"I'm thinking I can do it if you let me take that phone with me."